Maybe it was a mistake that I survived, maybe it was luck. I still haven’t decided whether the luck was good or bad though.. My life was perfect before the crash. I had everything that I had wanted, a relationship I was happy with, friends whom I cared about and cared about me, had just landed a nice job doing things I actually like, with nice hours. But after, nothing was the same…

Girl left me, job ate up what social life I had being newly single, and whatever money I made went into things other than where I wanted them to go. What kept me troopin’ through summer was the thought that, as soon as school began again, that things would change and I could be happy again… This was slightly true, for about a week… Classes began getting harder, and I was with my friends less and less, and here I am back where I started from, only now with even less money and more work.

Sometimes I find myself wishing that that night had been my last, better to die with happiness than to live with misery. Some believe it was a miracle that none of us were hurt, hell not even a scratch was found on any of us. Don’t get me wrong, I’m very happy the other two remained unharmed, they are great people and seem genuinely happy- as for me, though, that was the peak of the mountain and I have since sunk into the valley. Maybe it’s not as deep as it seems, but as for now I’m exhausted and don’t believe I can make it back up again…

My metaphors are terrible I’m sorry (it’s late and I’m tired)

but these were the thoughts that came into my head when I showered tonight, maybe when I wake up I will feel differently, but I’m tired of waiting.